ROHAN GUNATILLAKE: Thank you for joining us today. In this special episode, we’ll drop into an immersive meditation, designed to help us center our hearts and minds around the impact of small acts of kindness. 

Monday, November 13th marks this year’s World Kindness Day. And it has me thinking about what it means to take one day where I really dedicate myself to extending kindness, in big ways and small. Like most of us, I’m sure, I try to act with kindness as often as I can, but there’s something about a dedicated day that brings an extra layer of intentionality to this value. 

This is a time when the opposite of kindness can feel all too tangible when we look out into the world. Each day brings tumultuous news from all corners of the earth, and it can feel too easy to harden our hearts under the weight of it all. 

So let’s orient ourselves to kindness, in a moment that calls out for its gentle power. That will be the theme of our meditation special this week. 

Let’s start by being comfortable. 

We don’t need our body to be overly tight or tense or to be in a fancy pretzel shape to do some meditation. 

Let’s just notice the activity of the mind, full of the momentum of the day, and let it settle down, all by itself. 

Fragments of this and that, settling down to the bottom of a glass of water, so that what is left is just clarity. The gravity of our shared intention to explore kindness together. All we need for calm and stability and spaciousness to emerge. 

Knowing the body as it is, and letting it be as it is.

If there is something we can do to feel more comfortable, then doing that. But again, just letting the momentum settle itself down. And letting what is left, emerge and be in the foreground. Clarity. Spaciousness. Awareness. Open and bright. 

Whatever quiet is here, turn to it. 

The theme of this year’s World Kindness Day is small acts of kindness and the ripple effects even the smallest acts can create.

When I think about small acts of kindness in my own life, I think about how I interact with my two young children. When they’re playing up and being… let’s say rambunctious, I notice how easy it is not to do the kind thing. To snap. To chide them or penalize them in some way. Even this little bit of unkind action — or more accurately, reaction — has its effects. A shifting of mood, a clenching of a jaw, a disconnection between us. So I’m trying hard to meet them with kindness. Connect with how they’re feeling and redirect their challenging energy into something more helpful. I don’t catch myself every time, but I am getting better. And the ripples… they’re real. So real and so welcome. 

What is a small act of kindness for you? Where in your life does acting kindly come easily? And when does it take real energy and inner jujitsu? 

And how do you recognize the effects of your kindness, even the smallest ones? Do you notice them as they flow out into the world? Or as they flow back, back into your being and into your future behavior?

That’s part of the everyday magic of kindness. It brightens the person we are kind to. And it brightens us. And what’s more, it lights up our community, because other people are inspired by our example. 

Of course, sometimes it’s hard to take the kindness option. It can take work, even with people we are fairly neutral towards, even with people we love. It can even feel like some people are not deserving of kindness at all. I get it, I know it.

In mindfulness practice, we learn to hold both the positive and the negative. Discerning the difference, but training ourselves to be in healthy relationship with both. And to notice whatever arises.

So this is the invitation for the second part of today’s meditation. Bring to mind someone for whom you find it hard to have a mind of kindness towards. Importantly, and I really mean this… Make sure it’s someone who you feel safe bringing to mind. We need to take care when doing practices like this. 

So, with the difficult person in mind, notice the struggle when it comes to the idea of showing them warmth. Sense, if you can, the boundaries of your kindness towards them. 

What I’m inviting here is not a fake kindness. The point of mindfulness is not to practice plastic positivity. The point is to learn about our mind. So that is our metric. What can we notice about the movements of our mind when we’re reflecting on what kindness towards this challenging person might mean? Notice the movements of your thoughts. Learn what is here to be learned. 

Remember, throughout this meditation, this idea of ripples. This isn’t about massive breakthrough changes or magically loving your enemy. It’s about starting a ripple. Exploring the smallest thing we can do that feels ok, all in the direction of kindness.

And let’s finish up by turning the camera around once more, and exploring kindness to ourselves.

It might be something you’re an expert in already, or perhaps you don’t make it as much of a priority as you might. 

Directing kindness to ourselves can, for many, feel like a luxury. But it needn’t be.

To help orient yourself inwards, how about you choose something you’re going to do in the coming days to be just that little bit kinder to yourself.

Recognizing the parts of your life where you give yourself a hard time. Recognizing when a pattern of self-judgment is arising, and not buying into those thought patterns just for once, not going along for the ride. This is a powerful form of self-kindness.

So there we are.

Let’s mark World Kindness Day. 

Let’s notice the ripples that happen when we call that friend we’ve not spoken to for ages, just to say we were thinking of them. 

Let’s notice the ripples when we don’t send that reactive message of frustration.

Let’s notice the ripples we make within ourselves, and let’s notice the ripples made by others.

Thank you and take care till next time.